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A Letter to My English Teachers

Learning correct English.
Dear English Teachers,
Struggling throughout school trying to figure out past participles, adjectives, adverbs. Got the conjunction bit; well, I think so.
Oh teacher, it never had to be so complicated. You could’ve let us run with our thoughts slapped on paper and hen-pecked it out over the manual typewriter. Heaven knows we got plenty of arm exercise with slamming that carriage back and forth.